she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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