i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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