I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
