if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You left your phone here
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