if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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