why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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