He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
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It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My feet surprised me
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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