Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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