Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
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You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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