every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize