I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
