Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
