you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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