Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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