Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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