1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize