I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize