love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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