If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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