well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
