I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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