you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
