Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
