ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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