She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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