funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
