were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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