if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
