I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I will be naked everywhere
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
