Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
