so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
