Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
