people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
