i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
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I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
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Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT