Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people