Ambien. No doubt about it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.