why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.