he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden