Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
In the future we'll all be gay
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Randomize
Follow @tfln