Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There are leaves in my underwear?
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