Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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