Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
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I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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