i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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