How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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