Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
