The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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