Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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