i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize