I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
