i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
