so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
