I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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