the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
