Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
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Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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