im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
