Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
