Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
