Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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