Can i not drive my cunt home
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
